Christmas is Optional: A Reflection on Societal Obligations and Personal Choices
As we approach the festive season, I find myself reflecting on the societal pressures that come with Christmas. For many, Christmas is a time of joy and celebration, but for others, it can be a source of stress and financial strain. Growing up, Christmas was always a difficult time for me. As a freelancer, the end of the year often meant a lack of work and money, making it challenging to provide a festive experience for my children. Over the years, I have come to realise that Christmas, like many societal obligations, is optional.
It’s fascinating how deeply ingrained the idea of Christmas is in our culture. Many people assume it’s a non-negotiable part of life, but it’s not. You can choose not to do Christmas. This revelation often shocks people, as it did a friend of mine who was overwhelmed by the holiday preparations. When I suggested she could simply opt out, her face showed it had never occurred to her that Christmas was a choice, not a mandate.
This leads me to a broader point about societal obligations. Many of us, particularly women, feel compelled to martyr ourselves for traditions and expectations that don’t serve us. Whether it’s Christmas, family gatherings, or other social obligations, we often do things out of a sense of duty rather than genuine desire. It’s important to recognise that we have agency. We can set boundaries and make choices that align with our values and circumstances.
For instance, I don’t celebrate Christmas because I’m not religious and I’m anti-consumerism. Instead of stressing over gifts and decorations, I have honest conversations with my children about our financial situation and the meaning of the holidays. They don’t miss out on presents; they just receive them when it’s financially feasible for me. This approach has not only reduced stress but also taught my children valuable lessons about money and priorities.
Moreover, societal pressures extend beyond holidays. When I went through a divorce, I faced criticism for not taking full custody of my children. As the primary breadwinner, it made practical sense for my ex, who was home due to an injury, to have the kids during the week. This pragmatic decision was met with resistance, particularly from other women who seemed threatened by my choice. It highlighted how much women take on due to social pressure and how we can choose differently if we’re willing to face that pressure.
This brings me to the broader issue of personal agency and societal expectations. We often complain about the burdens we carry, but we must acknowledge that we have the power to change our circumstances. Whether it’s opting out of Christmas or making unconventional choices in our personal lives, we have the ability to shape our experiences. It’s crucial to be honest with ourselves about why we do things and to make conscious decisions rather than defaulting to societal norms.
In conclusion, Christmas and other societal obligations are optional. We have the power to choose how we spend our time and resources. By setting boundaries and making decisions that align with our values, we can reduce stress and create a more fulfilling life. So, if you find yourself overwhelmed this holiday season, remember that you have the agency to opt out and do what’s best for you and your family.