Realised this morning that I’ve been doing YouTube for a year.
My first live stream was SO bad! Now, I have Patrons and regular viewers and I hit the 1000 subscribers mark which is pretty fucking unreal.
Seriously though, if you’re afraid, look at my progress. I spent 8 months wanting to puke from fear. I still get really anxious when I go to stream, worried that I am going to fuck up.
But, it gets easier. Still have a long way to go, but if I can overcome fear, you can.
I’m flat out with work this week, but I am going to try and write a post for the anniversary. Yes, I am aware I owe you a book Chapter but everything is getting a bit stupid and I have to try and work through it. I am also feeling the weight of things this week – the constant conflict – as someone who is a bit of a shitstirrer but also someone who hates conflict (yes, those things can be true at once), and tries to be a positive force… being put on the ‘lists of the bad people’ is really hurtful, and in the case of this week – actually damn terrifying.
I will try to keep speaking for as long as I am able. I spent too long trying to get a voice and build up the courage to use it. No point backing down now.
This post should tide you over 🙂
If you’re scared of putting yourself out there… I did. With my hang tooth and no makeup and stutter and shyness. If I did it… you can too.
And maybe one day I might overcome my other fears, like doing standup comedy or sharing music recordings and stuff with you, but lets not go nuts. For now I just want to get better at THIS thing. Because THIS thing is at the core of seeing everything I love being destroyed.
Thank you for your precious life seconds, precious moneys and thank you.
Here’s my old Amstrad story. It was my first upload. The bit you don’t see if the bit where I picked a fight, then screamed at Paul, cried, stormed off and then came back. And that is why to this day he refuses to film me. haha. Turned out to be a good thing because then I had to do it myself with a webcam.
That’s Téa for ya.
Also, man I really wasn’t very well in that video. I’m alright now, thankfully. <3