On the Plagiarism Thing

Seriously, eat my poo and kiss my piss

Nothing says privileged like toddler billionaires in a week-long Twitter war with also-privileged corporate DEI crybullies (who don’t actually do anything other than puff up themselves, you may have heard) and far right lunatics saying “DEI must DIE” (ooh witty) suddenly being deeply concerned with plagiarism at ‘elite’ institutions in the richest country (read: kleptocracy) in the world.

The institutions with oh so much status and merit, whose graduates are behind a disproportionate amount of evil in the world, between Wall Street, weapons manufacturers, tech bros, Hedge Funds and corporate lawyers… this is obviously the single most egregious thing anyone who came out of Harvard and MIT has ever done.

We get to watch as they all argue what to do with us serfs. How much or how little access we can have gifted to us based on our sex or race. But, only so far as to avoid talking to us, helping us, listening to us or sharing with us. Only enough to keep us quiet, and know our place, and remember that we are there for the rich to harvest and exploit: our stories, our data, our identities, our pain, our desperation.

They are very, deeply concerned with what to do with the riff-raff and the muckraking, so they are arguing over which bones to throw and which scraps to let us fight over.

I dunno, food? Living wages? Housing? Clean water? Not pulling the ladder up behind you after you’ve weaponised real social justice issues to help yourself and your own brand? Not using other people’s identities to subvert labour laws and weaponised at-will employment?

Nar, instead we’ll go to war over a missed comma in the footnotes in 1993. That’ll keep ’em distracted whilst corporations literally vacuum up the serfs’ data and art without attribution or compensation. I mean…

Have you seen the carry on? Absolute toddlers. Spoiled, narcissistic, crybully, pointless, entitled and tone deaf toddlers.

My hot take? All of those people should bite the big one, eat my poo, and do it as fast as possible, and everyone else should ignore them and focus on the housing crisis instead.

But that’s just me. What do I know about anything. I didn’t go to Harvard. I only care about real social change, where single mothers can have on-site daycare and everyone can go to ANY University. But, I’m not smart and didn’t come out of a merit-vag, and my Dad couldn’t afford to buy a wing at the library. I had to absorb $150k of debt and earn my way into a ‘non-elite’ university. I mean, I thought it was about knowledge.

But, I’ll admit I have been wrong about a lot of things lately. Like, merit, being a good person, and being authentic, honest and telling the truth was what mattered, and ‘hey, tell us about your day in this little box, we promise we won’t do anything bad*’ was a good idea.

Instead, I will defer to the geniuses at these institutions to figure out the most pressing issue of our time: figuring out whether nepo babies really deserve their degrees and positions.

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