Date: 29 February 2022
From: Tallulah Smith (She/Her).
To: @cookie (All Staff & Customers)
Subject: International Women’s Day
Hey there, babes, sluts and bimbos!
As you know, being seen to support gender equality is important to the @cookie team. To celebrate International Women’s Day, I’m excited to let you know that I’m launching an exciting new initiative that I would love for you to support.
It’s called Women Supporting Men Who Pretend to Support Women Whilst Telling Actual Women to Stop Being So Negative and to Support Women Who Support Men Who Pretend To Support Women.
It’s either that, or WSMWPTSWWTAWTSBSNATSWWSMWPTSW!
I’m not really sure it’s snappy enough, and it is early days, so obviously as a data-driven company, the name is subject to change should we decide to pivot.
Acronyms always have an air of mystery, though, and makes it more portable for other days! Do let me know your thoughts on this (preferably before I upload the brief to Fiverr – COB Friday).
I do hope that you will buy tickets to our International Women’s Day Event to raise money for the local Men’s Legal Centre, who are currently fundraising to print stickers in opposition to domestic violence, which of course is a great and important cause.
Obviously, even though this really should go without saying, this is an inclusive women’s group for all women, people who identify as women, people who are Assigned Female at Birth but now identify as Men, people who support all people, as well as people who are looking to invest (and their allies).
Naturally, all members get a +1 to all events and spa days.
As a women-led association, we do not allow any conduct that will make our members feel uncomfortable, so please no negativity, Karens or TERFs. Also, no politics, because we think it important for there to be one day of the year where people aren’t talking about politics, and simply enjoy good company, remember what it means to be a woman in this male-dominated world, and enjoy fascinating talks from inspiring women and men and people who support women and men and investors and their allies and +1s.
Also, note that due to COVID (and it being at a bar), the venue cannot accommodate children.
It’d be really great if you would Subscribe to our Instagram and use #atcookie #iwd2022 on your accounts to promote the event to your friends and family (with the above exceptions, of course).
Can’t wait to see you all there!
Tallulah Smith (She/Her)
Head of Fawning
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@Cookie is a cutting edge productivity suite for women who support men who pretend to support women online. We use AI to help women generate phrases to send to the guys in their life to use on social media.
We live to make the lives of women around the world easier.
Coming soon: Enterprise Cookies writes entire press releases for the professional Women Who Support Men Who Pretend to Support Women. Studies have shown a 600% decrease in Women Who Support Men Who Pretend to Support Women’s workload per week after using the app, giving them more time for Omnichannel Engagement Sourcing and Team Building Sessions.
I post this as I am on a 7 day ban from Twitter. Whilst the reason was fair (I called Tim Pool a retard… fact check please), it is 7 days because I have had repeated 12 hour bans for innocuous reasons and also have been put on abusive lists like “TERF Blocker”, that are used to target women. Twitter has this tendency to ban women for defending themselves when men go after them, whilst the men get to say whatever they like with impunity. Because of course they do. But don’t worry. Tallulah and her friends support other women. We’re good. Let’s have another morning tea.