Here’s your Honest Social Media and Digital Marketing Trends and Insights for 2022 (yeah I saw a few remaining uncharred pieces of the bridges I am having fun burning lol):
- Everyone who knows anything about it and is actually good has quit. It’s been crap since 2018. I called it.
- Tech is now Big Tobacco and Monsanto levels of evil/unethical and anyone who says otherwise is either a dimwit who doesn’t understand the Internet and what happened, or lying, so keep your money and I’ll tell you what to do for free*.
- Be as stupid as possible and all you need to do is speak truthfully about literally anything and you’ll get in the paper for a cycle. PR is stupidly easy and journalism is dead. Use it.
- Say generic, empty, platitudes and then boost it with a few bucks. Don’t bother trying to create anything original.
- If anyone is telling you that you can pay them to get organic reach, RUN. They’re lying. Social is now 100% pay-to-play and the agencies now own virality – either through some sort of influencer/disinfo (what’s the difference) campaign, PPC or buying Likes to stuff up your numbers and they’re ripping you off. Or, you know, that whole disinformation stick and takedowns if all else fails.
- Get your tits out and do OnlyFans instead.
- Definitely see 4 if you are a girl and not already rich, and they’re telling you to Learn to Code. Especially then. Seriously. I’m not joking. Don’t bother being smart. Men on the Internet REALLY don’t like it and you’ll be happier making peace with this as early as possible.
- Anyone who says Metaverse, MarTech, FemTech, FinTech, Behavioural, Decentralisation, ‘Win-Win’ or any combination or misspelling/variation of those words is also not to be trusted. The internet was decentralised and free, and these arseholes stole it from us and are simply trying to sell it back to us.
Bonus for Agency Owners: Use Fiverr and pocket the difference. There’s no point. Seriously. Nobody cares about your values or paying designers and producers fairly or not ripping off clients. See Number 1. Otherwise, implement all of the above and send me a PayPal donation for the trouble.
*I don’t work for free. But you can pay me to Shut Up on Patreon if you want. 15% discount if you pay annually and months do not roll over.
No I am not lying.