Spilling the Téa 11-11-24 – oh, Fellas (post-election)

People are tired. Not just of the economy or the endless social media noise, but of the constant churn of rage, division, and deliberate ignorance. It’s exhausting to witness the erosion of empathy and reason, and to see these forces weaponised against marginalised groups, particularly women. I wanted to explore these themes—not as solutions but as reflections of where we are, and perhaps a caution of where we’re heading.

The recent election has exposed deep fractures in society, and they aren’t new. They’ve been decades in the making, fuelled by economic disparity, cultural alienation, and the internet’s amplification of our worst tendencies. A key issue is how misogyny has been normalised—not always as overt hatred, but as indifference. Women’s rights, safety, and autonomy are continually traded off as acceptable losses in favour of men’s grievances and comforts.

It’s no surprise that the online world magnifies these dynamics. Social media has become an echo chamber of our collective dysfunction. It strips away inhibitions, validates harmful behaviour, and exacerbates mental health struggles. Whether it’s the validation of bullying, the amplification of delusions, or the glorification of righteous cruelty, these platforms reveal the worst of human nature. The irony is that this chaos exists across the political spectrum. The right often wears its misogyny and hate openly, while the left wraps it in a façade of intellectualism and progressiveness—but the outcome is often the same.

The internet’s architecture fosters this dysfunction. It elevates rage, confusion, and misinformation, while pushing people further into ideological silos. For women, this translates to a relentless dehumanisation—being reduced to props, muses, or objects of scorn. Even in professional spaces, respect for women is often conditional, hinging on tolerance of microaggressions, boundary violations, and outright harassment. Rejecting these conditions frequently leads to retaliation or dismissal.

What makes this worse is the enabling of men’s behaviour under the guise of empathy. While structural issues like poverty and education gaps are real, they don’t excuse individual choices to harm others. Voting for a fascist because you’re angry or disillusioned isn’t a protest—it’s a choice to hurt people. Empathy has limits. Understanding root causes doesn’t absolve personal accountability, and it’s time we stopped framing bad behaviour as inevitable.

Misogyny isn’t the sole factor in today’s political and cultural crises, but it’s a significant one. The refusal to prioritise women’s voices and lives in policy and society reflects a broader indifference to the suffering of out-groups. And the left is often complicit, focusing so much on systemic explanations that it strips people of their agency. At some point, we need to acknowledge that harm is harm, regardless of intent.

I don’t have answers, only observations. We’re in a moment where the internet and politics have collided to create a landscape of chaos and alienation. But if there’s one takeaway, it’s this: stop giving bad behaviour a pass. Men, in particular, need to stop centring their anger and pain at the expense of others. Women have been bending over backwards—literally and metaphorically—to be heard. It’s time for men to do some of that work too. Respect is not conditional. Empathy is not infinite. And the choices we make, online and offline, shape the world we live in. We must choose better.