Currently just in ePub and PDF as Kindle format has some fuckery, but I will tinker with formats as I go. Also, the navigation on the ePub file is being a prick. But it’s ready.

Thank you.

I am going to go spew. Remember: this will change as the book rounds out.

EDIT:

Okay, I know I was supposed to only make my Chapter available on  Patreon, but now it’s done I kind of want to share it so that people  know that I can actually write, because I have had writers’ block everywhere else… and  people really love it and I feel greedy paywalling it.

Okay, I am nervous about this, because it is still going to change as I finish the book.

There is no artwork, and it is a work in progress, but I decided to make the first Chapter available to everyone.

But, if you’re interested. If you want more, do consider becoming a Patron for future Chapters.

Do share. 

*nervous puke*

My first live stream was SO bad! Now, I have Patrons and regular viewers and I hit the 1000 subscribers mark which is pretty fucking unreal.

Seriously though, if you’re afraid, look at my progress. I spent 8 months wanting to puke from fear. I still get really anxious when I go to stream, worried that I am going to fuck up.

But, it gets easier. Still have a long way to go, but if I can overcome fear, you can.

I’m flat out with work this week, but I am going to try and write a post for the anniversary. Yes, I am aware I owe you a book Chapter but everything is getting a bit stupid and I have to try and work through it. I am also feeling the weight of things this week – the constant conflict – as someone who is a bit of a shitstirrer but also someone who hates conflict (yes, those things can be true at once), and tries to be a positive force… being put on the ‘lists of the bad people’ is really hurtful, and in the case of this week – actually damn terrifying.

I will try to keep speaking for as long as I am able. I spent too long trying to get a voice and build up the courage to use it. No point backing down now.

This post should tide you over

https://teasmith.com.au/like-and-subscribe-a-shy-old-persons-first-week-on-youtube-and-what-i-learned/

If you’re scared of putting yourself out there… I did. With my hang tooth and no makeup and stutter and shyness. If I did it… you can too.

And maybe one day I might overcome my other fears, like doing standup comedy or sharing music recordings and stuff with you, but lets not go nuts. For now I just want to get better at THIS thing. Because THIS thing is at the core of seeing everything I love being destroyed.

Thank you for your precious life seconds, precious moneys and thank you.

Here’s my old Amstrad story. It was my first upload. The bit you don’t see if the bit where I picked a fight, then screamed at Paul, cried, stormed off and then came back. And that is why to this day he refuses to film me. haha. Turned out to be a good thing because then I had to do it myself with a webcam.

That’s Téa for ya.

Also, man I really wasn’t very well in that video. I’m alright now, thankfully. <3

I’ve been staring at a blinking cursor, on this neglected blog, for about 15 minutes. It’s not the first time it’s happened, and not the first time I have tried to write this story. In fact, it’s been brewing for about 9 months. It’s still brewing, really.

Each time I have tried to write about it, though, it’s the same blinking cursor.

Why am I breaking up with marketing?

Where do I even begin?

Ironically, it starts with that blinking cursor paralysis.

Because I never used to have that problem.

Back in the olden days (known as the 90s and 00s), I was a prolific and talented writer. I’d write a blog post daily, effortlessly. I was funny, candid, and shared stories and snippets and thought experiments when few were. Admittedly, I shared more than I should have (and I was groan-worthily precocious in my twenties). I would write about politics, motherhood, digital technologies, design, music, relationships, business. Basically, whatever I wanted to write about, because I was Téa, a person — not a product.

It’s hard to imagine it, but the internet was once a place where conversations were fun, rather than tedious. Where keeping stats on your blog was lame, and bragging about them to anyone made you a wanker. We built our audiences based on the strength of our ideas and our willingness to collaborate with others — not by our wallets (or access to them). It wasn’t “content”, and we weren’t a commodity. We just… were. We were (mostly) operating in good faith and hanging out with our imaginary friends.

The early days of the internet was the closest thing you could get to a true meritocracy. It was our haven to express ourselves, be who we wanted to be without the constraints of the physical world upon us, write and share our thoughts, and find a sense of belonging and community with like-minded people.

And no, that didn’t mean “people who always agreed”, like the tribes we have today. The flame wars were epic and brutal, but fun… mostly descending into accusations of having no life, suggesting the other person should get one, and then a debate over who had the least “life” (until someone pointed out they were arguing this point on the Mariah Carey fan forum, and rendered the conversation moot).

Then, Facebook happened.

The Like button happened.

Twitter happened.

Then, they monetised everything.

The marketers and recruiters and scammers and VCs and middle managers saw a quick buck and took over our spaces and took a giant shit on everything great about the internet.

If I wanted to survive, I had to say I was in marketing, and shut up, and shut down parts of who I am. I could no longer be multi-faceted and “Téa”. I couldn’t be a social scientist AND a designer AND a writer AND a musician, right? I couldn’t be funny AND credible, right?

To be more than one thing takes longer than 30 seconds to talk about, and why would anyone talk to you if there isn’t a buck in it for them with an elevator pitch? Crazy!

Middle managers, “lifestyle bloggers”, Social Justice Warriors and over-consumers (the bane of everybody else’s existence) took over the internet and appointed themselves as the morality police.

The fact is, I could no longer be a person with opinions if I wanted to succeed in business.

I was no longer Téa.

I was now a product.

And I have been a product since 2011.

And it shows in everything I have (and haven’t) written since.

Think about the time you left a relationship. The other person asks you “why?”, but you struggle to answer, because it is never one thing, but death by a thousand paper cuts.

My procrastination over this post – and that dreaded blinking cursor – feels like that, because I have observed the gradual erosion of my soul and intellect over ten years, it’s hard to explain it without sounding like a laundry list of whining.

The short answer?

I’m bloody miserable. And bored. And everyone else decided what I was, who I should be, how I should package it, and I let that determine my value. The fact is, the thing I signed up for has changed (and not for the better, despite all the buzz about innovation and creativity). It’s all about making 5 men richer, at everyone else’s expense. Marketing is not something that requires intelligence or critical or creative thinking — it now requires assembly.

The thing I once loved — through the underhanded exploitation of data, manipulation of people’s weaknesses and tech companies literal harvesting of our lives for profit — has turned something that used to be fun into something sociopathic, violent, and greedy, and I can’t compete in it anymore without being complicit.

I have to quit marketing because, in 2019, it’s time to pick a side. I choose my soul.

So, in 2019, it’s a weird place to be in, having so much to say and yet, finding myself crippled by the blinking cursor, unable to write a single word of truth without looking over my shoulder.

You only need to look at my blog archives to see the turning point in my writing. Look, in the last few years I have still tried to challenge things in my way, but, all I have been writing about was marketing and design. And I lost a decade of my life.

Because I, too, was writing for the money and the “product”, not for the sake of the idea. Or, more specifically, only writing about the safe things I can not offend someone with, or only offend those who aren’t my customers.

But, marketing has dulled my senses, and I have lost the ability to do my best work by letting insecurity, fear and self-consciousness dominate my thoughts.

Because now, everything is problematic to someone. And if it isn’t problematic, someone has a “well, actually”, or a comment about my face or whatever. The comments sections aren’t what they used to be. Now, negativity and offence and outrage in the comments is the price of admission… how is any of that worth it if it’s not even for work you’re proud of?

Year upon year, I have written less and less, about less and less. Still Téa, of course, but still, very much a broken and shallow version of what I could have been.

And that is, in part, the reason that cursor blinks at me.

That blinking cursor is why I need to get the hell out of marketing and into art, because I have lost a decade of comedy, book writing, podcasting and all the things that make me happy.

Seems I overcame the blinking cursor today.

That’s a start.

Right?

October is ADHD Awareness Month, and with all the talk (platitudes?) about Mental Health in the workplace lately, I feel the need to talk about something that’s bugging me.

There is far too much focus on what I call “neurotypical depression prevention” in corporate-land, with no real conversation about a) how most depression is caused by structural problems and b) how we are supporting different brains that aren’t going to get “better”.

Not just for ADHD, but for other differences such as Dyslexia, Autism, Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia, or personality disorders… and designing workplaces that accommodate and celebrate — rather than discriminate and performance-manage — those who are not neurotypical.

I’m pretty good at what I do. Excellent in fact. But, every single full-time job I have ever had has made me painfully, and crushingly depressed within 6 months.

Not because I am not a top performer. Not because I am not intelligent or competent. Not because I struggle with depression (I don’t, really, it is more a secondary/situational thing and usually my gut telling me I need to make a change), but it is because not a single job working for someone else has ever been able to fit in with the way my (very smart and capable but different) brain works.

Because I have ADHD (… and on the spectrum, but that’s more a side note for the purposes of this article. There are overlaps and complexities… but ignore that…).

Yep, that funny “Dory” thing. Oh, look a squirrel… or, that thing that to some, doesn’t even exist despite being one of the most widely (and confirmed as real) disorders in the DSM.

Haha.

Haha amirite?

Yep, it can be funny sometimes, for sure. Watching me try to bake, or crack the shits because my desk has finally gotten so messy I can’t take it anymore and suddenly drop everything to clean it, is funny (Pro tip: if you have ADHD, get a weekly cleaner, even if you have to eat noodles. Worth every cent.), and we laugh a lot at the madness that occurs at the Grith house (we all have ADHD and other “quirks”. Never dull.).

But in the modern world, ADHD is both a gift and a curse. It is also experienced differently for everybody. In my case, it works well, but for some, it is debilitating.

Remember: ADHD is a disability, not a personality trait.

ADHD is always there, in the background, in big and little ways. It is a disability, like any other, that I am medicated for, and manage quite well (I am very lucky to have the ability to surround myself with people who complement/carry me and allow me to focus on my strengths).

ADHD manifests differently with different people, even within the different sub-types. Each person has their unique combination of impulsivity, distraction, emotional regulation problems, forgetfulness (e.g. with Inattentive types, in some it means “off with the fairies”, for others it is not. For me it is impulsivity, lack of patience, running at a million miles a minute and emotional intensity… and often getting crippled by overwhelm when those all happen at once.).

It is not just “shiny haha Dory she put her keys in the freezer”. It’s very annoying and frustrating that I can do amazing intellectual gymnastics, perform amazing feats with my work and yet fail at basic things. It shatters my confidence often… I mean how the hell can I lead anything when I forget to pay my car rego?

ADHD is why I can get up early and give myself loads of time but STILL be late.

ADHD is how I can forget to eat, forget to pee until I am busting (yes this is a thing), rely so heavily on calendars and timers, and why I can be sitting here, writing this article instead of writing a simple thing about what I do, because this is absolutely the MOST IMPORTANT THING RIGHT NOW.

ADHD is why I can easily focus for 8 hours straight on Wikipedia that started with an article about Q-Tips… or accidentally stay up till 3am reading a book I am immersed in… but then struggle to focus on what I am supposed to be doing (today it is a page on our website advertising web consulting services), and have very little control over what I can focus on.

(Thankfully I have turned that into a strength. I work with that rhythm, and when I am procrastinating, I keep a list of things I can go look up… something I have been intending to learn that isn’t Q-Tips on Wikipedia, or write a blog article or something.)

ADHD is why I can’t do a 9–5 job, and have no choice but to run my own show in order to protect my mental health.

Traditional employers (and honestly, some clients) absolutely do not allow for people to work to their own neurological rhythm, or create (or even contribute differently) in ways beyond their JDF, their hours or the awful, awful culture of mediocrity rising and tenure determining value. Hierarchy and a lack of flexibility is incredibly smothering for most people, but add in ADHD, and it is SO much worse — almost always performance managed, or seen as laziness or an “attitude problem”.

Maybe it’s not an attitude problem. Maybe the system is broken.

But, if you learn to work with ADHD, and accommodate it, there are great bits too.

ADHD is why I am excellent at a lot of different things — in a way that nobody (OMG… recruiters) ever believes till they see it in action.

ADHD is why I am able to see and cut through bullshit, call it out, tell the truth, formulate a plan forward. I have an extremely low threshold for boring and pointless tasks, which is why I am able to run leaner and faster projects, without stupid unnecessary meetings or PowerPoints or 50 page documents that nobody reads.

ADHD is why everything I do, I have to care passionately about (or delegate to someone else as we grow the business… because sometimes, boring stuff has to get done!). So, if you get to work with me, you can guarantee that I give a shit.

Because it won’t get done if I am bored with it. My brain will, against my better judgement, check out. Thankfully I work with fantastic people 

ADHD is why I am a polymath and look at things creatively, make connections others don’t, and think in a completely non-linear (but often profound) way.

It’s why I am funny and why I can sight read music, but only play a little bit of 8 instruments.

ADHD is why I fix messes, get excited about big ideas and the bigger picture, and handle chaos better than anyone else, because being (appearing?) calm with a noisy brain is normal for me, and there is nothing that I enjoy more than creating order out of chaos and making others happy (and it’s probably why people tend to come to us to fix their poison projects).

We need to support this, because you are missing out, and we are suffering unnecessarily.

For all the talk about mental health, ADHD is still mostly just a punchline, or a fast track to the corporate naughty corner… or… incredibly depressed and looking to leave.

A lot of us don’t care how you treat us, because we can just create our own gigs… but what about those in your organisation who can’t do that?

Do you think they’re going to be mentally healthy? Do you think they’re going to be engaged? Do you think they’re going to be contributing? Do you think you might have an untapped superstar that you are ignoring? Trust me, I work with them. They’re amazing when you give them a chance.

ADHD remains one of the most heavily stigmatised, and yet most studied (and well established) disorders in the DSM… yet some people STILL insist that it isn’t real and we are just speed heads.

To those people, pfft.

The best and brightest people I know (and look up to) have what I have, and I am completely kicking arse right now. Everyone should be supported to do that.

I care about this. I want to build a business that celebrates people’s differences, and nurtures their talents, and works with their rhythms. Because I know the current way of doing things is broken. Everyone is angry and afraid and fed up… and now that we can go off and make our own Q-Tip Consulting businesses… you don’t need to be worried about how many FTE you can fire this year… because the good people will be leaving you in droves if you don’t start supporting all kinds of diversity.

If you want more information, start with Jess of “How to ADHD”. She’s amazing.

This article originally appeared on LinkedIn in October 2018.

Honestly, that’s not the case. I simply don’t care about awards, because I don’t believe they actually mean anything. I most certainly would never nominate myself or pay to enter them, and even if I did, most of what we do is behind the scenes anyway: audits, fixes, project rescue, consulting, integrations etc — all the unsexy, necessary (and low-profile) stuff.

In other words, we are the people who tend to clean up agencies’ messes.

There’s not exactly an award in the digital marketing industry for “dropped everything to create an emergency landing page and moved a client’s domain to a new server in half a day, because their agency went out of business and everything went dead, and now they are ignoring calls or emails and there is no backup of the $50,000 website they just put live and there’s a media campaign this week”.

or

“Saved the client $1000 a month in ad spend through optimisation”

or

“saved the client $100k in marketing spend without losing a single head count”.

Doesn’t work that way. The thankless work tends to go unrewarded.

It’s very difficult to believe in the credibility of Awards when you’re in our position.

Obviously I won’t name the awards or the agencies, because that isn’t right and I have integrity, but I also want to tell you that awards tell you nothing about the quality of the agency or their work. In fact, I have often found the opposite to be true.

In the last year, I have audited (and fixed) quite a few “award winning” digital agencies’ work for clients who suspected they weren’t getting what they were promised (or paid for), and asked me to take a look.

What I see continues to shock and amaze (and infuriate) me.

Yes, even at the high end. At the lower (under $5k) end of the market you expect compromises. But, bigger clients beware: paying more does not mean you’re getting more. As someone who has always priced fairly and worked with integrity, I find it upsetting to know that we deliver so much more, and work so much harder, for so much less!

There are a lot of digital agencies that are claiming “award winning” status, all while leaving behind a trail of overpriced, terribly designed, broken and slow sites, not even optimised or mobile-friendly, with terrible-or-no strategy, with clients on SEO & PPC monthly fees and not actually doing anything… and an increasing number are charging clients top dollar, only to delegate work to juniors and interns (or off-shore).

• One had charged $20k for what was obviously a $1000 off-shored job. My report got the client their money back.

• One charged hundreds of thousands of dollars for a Drupal multisite that is still broken and doesn’t have even basic blog functionality after 2 years of development.

• One was charging $2k a month for Adwords Management (not spend) and they hadn’t even logged in for 3 months.

• One was charging $5k a month for SEO, without even the most basic of technical tweaks or site updates being done in 2 years (and the client writes their own content!).

• One quoted a simple request as 3 days of development — it was no more than an hour’s work.

• One had stripped out and white-labelled an Open Source CMS, and was selling development of core features back to the client at a premium.

• One had advised a solution for a client knowing full well that the client would need a rebuild in 6 months, even though the client had specified their plans in the beginning.

• One resold a $55 Envato template for $25k, and had configured the back-end so poorly it took us an entire day just to figure out how to make a simple change.

• One had developed the site with all content fields on lockdown, so that the client could not add in any additional text without paying for development work.

• One has been charging a $40k a month management fee. That’s plus production, plus ad spend. And no, the work isn’t good.

All of the above have come from “award winning” agencies in the last 12 months. And no, it is not just the small ones. The big ones are just as bad.

It is really disappointing, and quite disillusioning, to see our industry through my eyes. It’s hard not to be “negative” when this is what you see, day in, day out.

Awards don’t really mean anything other than “we put extra special effort into a key client that had our best work”. It is not an indicator of all their work. Trust me, in my experience, most of the grunt work is handed to juniors and/or off-shored and the average client is subsidising the “award winning” work.

When choosing an agency, make sure that “award-winning” is not your only criteria, and that you don’t just rely on the work that they choose to show you. Push them. Ask who is going to be doing the work. The good ones will be honest with you if they are using a freelancer or off-shore (there is nothing inherently wrong with it as long as it is open and well-managed).

And, ask yourself this question: Are you are a key client (like a major brand or high profile startup)? If not, and you have an inkling that you’re overpaying, you should definitely ask questions. Agencies that are doing the right thing will be straight with you (or open to someone else looking at the project).

Awards are nice. Some of them are credible. I am sure that in many instances they are well-deserved. But, they are not really a marker for anything other than “we nominate for awards”, “we pay to nominate”, or “we put all our best effort into a client that is good for our PR”.

Never assume that Awards = good.

They look shiny, but make sure you dig deeper. Ultimately, what matters is whether you trust them, whether you feel you are getting value for money, and how YOU are treated. Are they open with you about who does the work? Do they take time to explain the effort and cost? Do you have a nagging feeling that something isn’t right?

Trust that.

Of course, if you are a cheapskate or difficult client, this doesn’t apply to you. Your agency is probably not charging you enough (I can tell that too… but that’s for another time…).

Note: like other agencies, audits are not part of a sales strategy for Kintsugi. Yes, we run an agency, because that stuff pays our bills, but this is not why I do these audits. I’m looking to make consulting our focus, and I want to emphasise that if your current agency is doing the right thing (yes, I can tell), I will always advise you to stay put, call a meeting and arm you with info you need to try and resolve it.

Originally published at kintsugi.com.au on January 1, 2019.

You’d be wrong.

I like the logo, the colours are good. The palette is accessible. The website is okay, the UX is very meh. The copy is alright in some places and I hate it in others. I don’t like the blog design. I like our business cards. I am not sure of the tagline.

But here it is. I have had to move on because it works.

We design websites. What?

It is a whole different ball-game trying to implement your own branding and website.

Recently, I spent some time on our own branding. It’s changed a few times. But, I reached a point where I had to just get it done and let it go or it was never going to be done.

So, I speak with personal experience when I say this.

No matter how much you might know about marketing, or branding, or web or whatever, your own emotional investment, as a founder, MD or anyone else with an emotional stake in the business, is a potential problem.

And, you might be unwittingly undermining your own efforts because you aren’t letting people do what you hired them to do. Trust me, I have had to part ways with a few clients over this, so I understand things from both sides.

Success or failure has many moving parts, but clients usually don’t ask this one question:

“Am I really the best person to lead this?”.

A large percentage of projects fail because of the emotional state of the people involved. Even when it is wrapped up in logic and requirements and contracts and checklists… it is never about that. From a Small Business owner who micromanages everything and insists on DIY and editing everything into their own words rather than their customers’, to the owner who puts the IT Guy in charge(that is its own post… oh Lord), to having a project manager or product manager who doesn’t have the authority, skillset, experience or confidence to run the project properly…. projects succeed and fail on anything but logical stuff.

Do you really have your emotions in check?

It is imperative that you are aware of your own bias, and especially be aware of your own role when things aren’t going well. Because, like that guy who has a lot of “crazy” exes, a client who has been “burned” by all their agencies is a red flag for me. Yes, there are some bad agencies, mostly mediocre ones, but if they’re all bad, sorry, but the problem is probably closer to home.

As a business owner, you have to admit that you are never going to be objective about your own brand or your strategy — no matter how knowledgeable you are. That is okay. Nobody makes decisions based on logic anyway, but if you are engaging consultants to advise you, you should be aware that this might cause problems for you. That’s why you should always hire someone else. I am hiring someone else I trust to build on our brand because I have realised I am the wrong person to do it.

As a business owner I know that I have three big trigger points: my reputation, client perception and money. I absolutely make more emotional, less rational decisions when any of those are at risk. I will openly admit that I have frequently stood in the way of the “bigger picture” because I was too scared to risk my reputation (by sacking a bad client), a client’s perception (giving away far too much and not setting boundaries), and about paying my bills (discounting too heavily to get the sale) — frequently to my long term detriment.

This won’t change, because caring about these things is what makes us good. But, it doesn’t mean I don’t have blind spots. We have to be aware of it and factor it in.

Maybe put someone else in charge.

I see a lot of businesses making terrible decisions (and ruining projects) simply because the wrong person is running it, or they’re too emotionally invested in it.

They don’t like the copy because it is written for their audience. They prefer hot pink. Their cousin doesn’t like it. They are self conscious, or afraid of alienating anyone (remember: by pleasing everyone, you please no one). They want to vomit industry jargon all over the place. They want SEO but don’t want to do the necessary changes that help SEO, because they’re married to their buzzword headline. The list goes on.

I struggled with this too. I am still not happy with anything on here. Thankfully, Paul and Yas kick my arse, so we have something up that I can live with, but we all know that it’ll never be right in my eyes. And I am not making an agency’s life hell because of my emotional bullshit.

If you are with a good agency, that does good work for other people, but you feel like they aren’t giving you what you want, are you the problem?

Is your agency trying to give you what you need, but you are too close to be objective?

I have tinkered with my (now our) brand for years and years. I get it. I overcomplicate everything, not just because I have been born with a lawyer-overthinky-brain and have 25 years of Internetting that I want to share, but because I am in MY head. Not the head of those who have no idea who I am. I overcomplicate my own copy, because like every other business owner, I am emotionally attached to it all and want to show everything upfront.

Have you ever gone on a date with someone who vomits their entire childhood and emotional baggage all over you?

Boner-killer, ain’t it.

I have learned that I don’t need to unload everything. With some reflection about how I tend to overcomplicate things, I managed to get over myself, and ended up with the simplest, and yet effective opener imaginable. And to be okay with “done” rather than “perfect” so that over time we can do “better”.

If you’re a client, wherever possible, you need to back off and let the pros handle it. If you DIY it will NEVER be as good as someone objective. If you find yourself micromanaging your agency, step back and ask yourself why. It just so happens that I can help you with this stuff, even if you have an agency. I can go through your current setup or project and tell you if it’s you, them or somewhere in-between. I can help find a way forward in a way that has everyone happy.

But, the first step is admitting that you might not actually know best, that the experts do, and you need to step back.

Originally published at kintsugi.com.au on November 27, 2018.

This is an archived post from before 2019 and may reflect outdated information or opinions. It’s included here for historical context, and future embarrassment, no doubt.

Yes, me. Queen big mouth. heh.

Not because I’m afraid of speaking. Anyone who knows me knows that isn’t true.

It’s because I am supposed to put my story up there, for the scrutiny of strangers, and do it in no more than 2 minutes. My story, which for those who don’t know me, is intrinsically linked to Kintsugi. It’s personal. It’s a name which comes from my own pain, that now needs to be sanitised, for public consumption.

In retrospect, that was probably a mistake, but… moving on…

I’ve been told that, in this talk, I need to explain what I do. I’ve been encouraged to be vulnerable. To distill 25 years of expertise and experiences to strangers. Tell them how I have worked hard to build a strong personal brand — so much so that, ironically, I really don’t even need to be there, because I like the clients we have, we have a nice stream of new ones, and we are doing okay… but because I am trying to grow and get investment on a platform we’ve built, I have to get over myself and do this thing.

But I can’t say that.

The truth behind Kintsugi is that both I and the business are built out of a bunch of broken pieces. In order to tell my story, I need to tell strangers about how I have overcome a lot of adversity, had failure after failure, and each time being repeatedly and completely shattered — but ultimately rebuilding each time. And, that despite being one of the biggest brains in the business… have only finally started to see any success, 15 years later.

I need to tell them that every single day, I still panic and can’t allow myself to enjoy our wins too much, because I keep wondering when the rug is next going to be pulled out from under me, and I end up right back where I started, with absolutely no safety net — and tell them that they should invest in me because I have failed before, and there is no way in hell I can let myself go backwards one more time, because not only will I never forgive myself if I lose their money, I’d probably break for good.

I can’t exactly say that, can I?

To do this talk, my story needs to be depersonalised and repackaged in a way that is safe for others to hear, but is ultimately inauthentic, only to then be picked apart like a day-old roast chicken.

I need to try and articulate in 2 minutes, a 25 year journey that resulted in a career, and perspective, that is unique, and interesting, and has broken the mould in so many ways that they need more than a few minutes. This is not because I see myself as special, but because I have participated in, dabbled with, and experienced every single part of the digital revolution and have real things to say about it, and am more interested in that, than in selling you my shit.

I not only deeply understand the internet and the digital industry in a way that leaves most people in the dust, but I have lived it. Sacrificed for it. Bled for it. Suffered because of it. Built parts of it. And, unlike so many others in our business — I actually respect it.

I’ve been pressured to conform, to behave, told to be nice and mansplained about “how business works” every step along the way. Often well-meaning, and from people I love and respect. I know they’re trying to help.

It’s ultimately quite upsetting, because even though I have a chance to talk about us, ultimately, I realise that none of my story matters, beyond being fodder for 2 minutes of talking… because it’s all supposed to be wrapped in an elevator pitch, where I talk about the concept of Kintsugi like it isn’t deeply personal. Like I don’t cry and get hurt when we disappoint or lose a client. Like I don’t get very angry on their behalf when they’ve been burned by another agency and have to clean up the mess. Like I am not someone who has worked harder than most to get here. Like I am not hurt and offended that there are people in positions of power, who can’t show interest in another person for more than a minute unless they can make a buck from it. Like I don’t think it’s fair that those who can’t (or won’t) diminish themselves with a superficial slogan or hook or be “on the sell” at all times, are somehow not doing business the right way. Like I don’t know that being a woman compounds this issue tenfold, lest I be called crazy or aggressive or bossy or emotional.

The pressure to conform in this situation, and just phone this in, is immense.

I’m constantly told by others that I am supposed to care what others think of me and my business, when, in reality, I don’t… beyond me, my team, and my clients.

I keep being told that there’s a right way to do business, and that my story and perspective, because it is different, and at odds with common wisdom, is somehow the wrong way, even though we have clients other agencies would fall over themselves for… purely because I don’t try to pitch to them.

If there were actually a right way to do business, let’s be honest, more people would actually succeed at it.

Which leads to why I don’t have an elevator pitch.

I’ve never needed one.

I’ve never wanted one.

I keep feeling pressured to have an elevator pitch, and “tell me what you do in 30 seconds”, and I almost cave, every single time. People with different stories, life experiences and resources tell me ‘how it is’, and, my confidence gets rattled, every time.

But I can’t do it.

It’s just not how we work.

The comedian’s comedian.

I liken the ‘elevator pitch’ to people who, when someone says they are a comedian, say “go on, tell me a joke, then!”, and try to make the comedian prove to them that they’re funny.

They wouldn’t know a good joke to save their life and, frankly, you’re wasting your time with them.

This is why I find it so perplexing that this “elevator pitch” is a thing, and is uncritically accepted by so many.

The burning question is: why, on earth, do you want to please people who can’t show interest in others for more than a few seconds?

In any other context, people who do that are considered rude. They’re a dick. I most certainly don’t want to work with them. They’re the same people who will rip people off and then say “it’s just business, it isn’t personal”, like somehow, being in business excuses shitty behaviour.

There are comedians who try to pander to the masses and that’s fine. They can do the one-liners and the tweets. They go on panel shows, and sell arenas — at least for now — but they are only as good as the next joke, and often lack substance.

The reality is, that they will have to ‘nyuk nyuk’ their way through their career, and as a result will always be at the mercy of the most fickle audiences. Or, in the case of business, the hardest customers to please, the cheapest customers, the ones who are always offended and shopping around.

That’s a fine living, but it’s not a very dignified one for those who “get” comedy.

The comedian’s comedian is the one who only plays to their die-hard fans or the respect of their peers. They are a different breed. They don’t care what the masses think they should be doing. They make a living, and may or may not have mainstream success, but that isn’t their motivation.

The comedian’s comedian is unapologetic about refining their craft. It’s based on a theoretical foundation, but they always make it their own. The joke is either good or not good — not measured in units of time. In fact, the best comedians often distort time and captivate you so that you don’t notice how much has passed. They are motivated by the story, the love of the craft, the highs and lows, the process, the perfect arc, and having an entire room, even if a smaller crowd, in fits of laughter over something they crafted with precision and after many years of practice. All after failing, bombing and paying their dues.

In the case of Kintsugi, it’s all about striving for streamlined systems and beautiful digital experiences. The thrill of the bugfix, the problem solving, the sprint. The happy client whose day we made a little bit less stressful. We only work for those who “get” digital, appreciate us and how we are different, and care about what we have to say. There is nothing quite like the contagious happiness when a client recommends us to someone else.

If you don’t know what we do, then the only thing you need to know upfront is that I am not going to try and convince anyone of my value in 30 seconds, because not only have I earned the right to more time, if I am going to share my story, I will be giving it the justice it deserves. Our value is in what we do, how we deliver it, the people who love us, and, most importantly, how we have the long (and sometimes uncomfortable) conversations better than anyone else for a better result.

For this, I need to be able to talk and have you actually listen, and pay attention, and be ‘in’ on the joke. Naturally, I will do the same for you.

There’s nothing wrong with needing a longer conversation to show your value.

If you are delivering something complex, or smart, or sophisticated, you NEED more than 30 seconds. Not having an elevator pitch does not diminish you. It has its place in giving you focus about what you do, but I find pitches from people when I barely even know their name instantly off-putting, and I am not alone.

So, no, I won’t “tell you a joke”. I won’t dance for you. I don’t need to justify myself. I will, however, spend time getting to know you properly, and if I like you, I’ll invite you to my show so you can see us in action and decide later.

You might like it… you might not. It’s okay if it’s not to your taste.

We are the agency’s agency, and that’s okay. We are playing to the front and back of the room — not the middle — and that’s fine with me.

My story needs more time, and I’ll tell it on my terms, after you’ve bought those elevator pitches a few times, and realised that there’s not much of substance underneath it… and when you’re ready to make time to listen.

Originally published at https://kintsugi.com.au on August 13, 2018.

This is an archived post from before 2019 and may reflect outdated information or opinions. It’s included here for historical context, and future embarrassment, no doubt.

When you can set up an amazing online store with Shopify?

How do you compete with your brother’s mate (who works in IT), and WordPress and Page Builders (both of which we use exclusively, by the way) and off the shelf themes… not to mention digital, SEO and marketing agencies that are so much cheaper, promising the earth for next to no money?

How do you, the digital agency owner, sell integrations when people can automate everything themselves with Zapier and cloud apps, or make their very own iPhone app for free — using some new mega-meta-app that… makes apps…

How, as a digital agency, do you cut through all of the SEO spam calls and all of the SUPER thirsty networking and terrible advice and MLM and affiliate marketers and unsolicited LinkedIn messages?

How the HELL do you even begin to compete in this space in 2018?

And, how do I even begin to explain what we do to people who don’t know what we do yet?

The answer: I don’t. I never tried to compete with your brother’s mate.

Because none of this is a threat to us.

I simply don’t see any of this as competition.

Because we are more than code.

You might not know, but these days, there are quite a few people around who can code. There’s a digital agency overpromising on every corner. Some of them are better than us… most are not. There are always better creatives, better analysts, better architects, better writers. But there is nobody better than us at… being us, as a team, and thinking the way we do, sprinting like we do to solve a sticky problem or reach a deadline, and bringing all of that magic together, as a team, to make something great.

If it were just about the code, then our clients would go somewhere cheaper. There’s always someone cheaper. They’ve tried. They’ve come back (and, often, had to pay us to fix a mess).

Why? Because they can reach any of us on the phone. Because we come to visit them. Because I generally respond to emails within 2 hours, despite being the Managing Director. Because I am unafraid to tell them when they shouldn’t do things. I spend more time talking people out of giving us money than I do selling. Because we genuinely care about our clients as friends first and clients second. Every one of our clients know that I have their best interests at heart, even when we disagree.

You can do all of that yourself with Wix no more than you can perform your own surgery with your own scalpel. You can try, but most certainly, you’ll come to us when something goes wrong and when you do, it’ll be pretty dire.

The democratisation of tech & code has put all of these solutions in the hands of the many, rather than the hands of the few — which is quite fantastic.

Of course, it is sure as gravity that when something is open and free and based on ideals like sharing and trust, there’ll be a chunk of people who ruin it. The more accessible you make tech, the more over-confident people get with it. And, the more we get to charge when it all goes wrong and people realise that they’re in over their head. 

Many agencies are going out of business at the moment, because they have treated everything that competes with their proprietary platform from 2003 as a threat. Rather than innovate, or adapt, or differentiate, they double down on their “value proposition”, bullshitting clients with technobabble so that they buy the highest margin — rather than the best fit — solution.

Or, by persuading someone who is just starting their business not to use Wix or Squarespace and go with their expensive solution instead.

But I don’t.

Wix & Squarespace are often the right tool for them at that moment in time, and if you try to sell them on a more expensive solution, you’ll end up with another client who doesn’t see value in what we do. If you sell them now, they won’t know that making a website is actually difficult, and is made up of many different disciplines and components. If you sell them now, you won’t get to have that conversation a year later, where they need to start over and look at the architecture, what is and isn’t working, and move everything over to another solution. They just aren’t there yet.

They’re like a first-time pregnant lady who thinks hypnobirthing is going to work. ha ha ha. Let her go.

Right now, that is what they want, and need, and the best solution for them.

But, eventually, if you’re anything but a solo business, and you succeed, you quickly outgrow Wix.

Eventually, Squarespace won’t have functionality or flexibility that you need for the next phase.

Or, eventually you’ll do the maths and realise that you are paying $19 a month, per user, for about 30 apps and you’re actually still living with chaos rather than having tools that were meant to make everything easier… and it might be more cost effective to roll your own tool.

Because the people who use all of this stuff successfully for a while, they might be our customer.

Just not yet.

The internet is about possibilities, not greed.

When you’ve been on the internet for a quarter of a century, like I have, and remember a time before the Internet become a 24/7 flashing billboard and an Intravenous Donald Trump Drip, the web was a place of optimism, ideas, opportunity, collaboration and sharing.

The foundation of Open Source, “share and build upon and share again”, is the very best part of the ideals of the original internet. New careers were created, technologies and relationships were built that have stood the test of time.

The internet has created so many possibilities for so many people… and you simply cannot compete with, or sabotage, that. Nor, would I want to. But, the core principles remain the same: ideas, opportunity, collaboration and sharing. Even though we may run “just another” digital agency in the eyes of a stranger, the reality is that we are in the business of making — and keeping — friends.

If we were just about code, we’d be trying to sell our code. And we aren’t. We are selling the best solution for a person that we care about.

Which brings me to: The Elevator Pitch.

I have to give a talk soon where I am expected to ‘pitch’ what we do, and it has caused me an unbelievable amount of stress. Not because I don’t know what we do, or because I am afraid to talk (we all know that isn’t true), but because they’ve given me a narrow framework to work with — in which I have to talk about us, differentiate us from the 4 other digital agencies that have given exactly the same talk before me, in 2 minutes.

It made me anxious to have to talk about what we do, because I generally don’t pitch or do any marketing aside from this blog, and some LinkedIn stuff every so often. Every client we get comes to us already warm, referred, with an immediate problem to solve (often a problem created by another agency). We have built a reputation as fixers for a reason, so we prove ourselves, and they generally stay.

So, it has always been inconsequential what a stranger thinks our business is or does, because, if we are taking on clients where we need to explain what a digital agency is or does, not only are they not our target market — we’ll die. If we are competing on the code alone in 2018 — we’ll die. Because we differentiate on being the 2nd, 3rd, maybe even 4th agency that helps them with their problem when nobody else has.

Thankfully, I gave up trying to impress strangers, or justify my existence, a very long time ago.

I’ll tell you this: Strangers will always think we are just about the code. They’ll compare us to Wix. There are people out there who think they can prescribe their own medicine or cure cancer with coconut oil too. They aren’t our customers, because they cannot be helped until they admit they need it.

Our friends know we are so much more than that. And our friends stay with us because we aren’t like any other Digital Agency.

And like Wix, or Squarespace, or even other agencies: none of them are a threat: a) because there is plenty of work and a right fit for everybody; b) because we simply don’t compete on the same field — in fact, creative agencies needing a specialist digital & SEO partner are also clients and c) we are in the business of the intangibles, which are almost impossible to replicate.

There is no one way to do business, just like there is no one solution FOR business.

The old fashioned, dominant (and dare I say certain type of male) approach to business is far too focused on the close — whether or not it is the right solution (and relationship) for the client. When you visit a doctor, are you suspicious when they push a specific drug or treatment on you, that, conveniently, is non-PBS and no generic available? Those doctors pitch. Good doctors don’t have to.

There is WAY too much groupthink on business tactics: “value proposition”, “features” and “pitch” vs intangibles like trust. Yes, getting clear on those is a good idea, but again, that gravity thing where people ruin it.

So now, every networking event is full of insincere and agenda-driven people only talking to you for as long as they see you as part of their funnel, and as just another email for their CRM. Ask how many accountants I went through this year until I found mine, because they put me in their funnel rather than having a real conversation.

That old mindset of “mine” and “grab” and “protect” and “deceive” (VS “everyones” and “share” and “make meaningful connections” and “see what comes out of it”) is outdated thinking, should die, and it is the main reason why we not only develop on Open Source platforms, we also GPL all of our own code.

And, yep, there’ll be people who ruin it, but that’s okay too.

We make money being us.

If there is one takeaway I can give you, please let it be this: even though technology changes, the humans we are working with haven’t.

People are still people, the medicine changes and evolves, but, trust me, despite the hype about AI, very few people will trust a robot doctor to make critical decisions (or hold their hand) when their life is at stake.

Not to labour the medical metaphor, but we are the agency people come to when they’ve tried everything else, and yet still live with chronic pain, because nobody seems to be able pinpoint the cause.

We are the people you come to when the over the counter stuff doesn’t work, or when someone else has hurt them, you’ve tried to perform your own surgery and it needs to be stitched up.

We’re the senior specialists you call when others are in way over their head, when you need to stop the bleeding, or you need a second opinion or a creative solution that is outside the norm, all based on years and years of trial and error that you cannot learn from a book.

We are also the people who, every day, are trying to re-establish trust in an industry when clients have been sold homeopathic remedies and sugar pills by someone else.

How on earth do you even begin to pitch that?

We don’t.

We are so much more than code.

Originally published at https://kintsugi.com.au on July 31, 2018.

This is an archived post from before 2019 and may reflect outdated information or opinions. It’s included here for historical context, and future embarrassment, no doubt.

LinkedIn told me that I have been running my digital agency, Kintsugi for a year now, so I thought I might take the opportunity to share some lessons I have learned making the leap from freelancer to “full Agency”.

I have been ‘in business’ for over a decade, and yet, I continue to be surprised and learn something every day. Hopefully, some of these less…

Read more

“Téa Smith has carved out a career building websites and copywriting under the business name Kintsugi. But she’s never bothered building one for herself.

The Perth woman insists that most people search for her by name. And she’s right there on LinkedIn, she points out.

“People have recommended me and so a new client …

Read more

I don’t generally like to comment on or analyse viral videos, because it often leaves people with the impression that “viral” (I mean truly viral) is something you manufacture, rather than something that is, for most part, fairy dust.

There are, of course, ways to increase your odds, and it is usually a perfect storm of unscripted, relatable pain and ‘ri…

Read more

Why?

Reflect for a second, because it might not be their fault.

You, the client, might have created this.

I am the first to talk about dodgy Agencies who have mastered the art of style over substance. A lot, in fact. In a sales pitch, they’ll love bomb you, buy you dinner and promise you the earth. They’ll say the…

Read more

But I want to talk about a problem in our industry, which is juniors starting digital agencies and exploiting the (apparent) ignorance of some clients. People with no experience opening content management agencies, and bamboozling people with buzzwords and non-strategic “content” over actual strategy.

I am not talking about freelanc…

Read more

Digital Marketing is not cheaper than traditional marketing. It is j…

Read more

Many thousands of years ago, all I wanted to be was a writer. As a baby undergrad in Political Science & Communications, I had aspirations of great journalism, moving political speeches, opinion pieces and documentaries as my legacy. From the day I read Animal Farm when I was 12 years old, I have always been fascinated with the power of rhetoric, persua…

Read more

Read more

The word that everyone talks about, and thinks they have, but very few are actually able to put into practice.

Empathy, not to be confused with sympathy, is being able to sit in someone else’s shoes, and feel the way they feel about a certain situation. Empathy is feeling without judgement. Sympathy, on the other hand, is to understand someon…

Read more

The digital marketing industry is not like it once was. In 2010, it was straightforward: you built a website, you invested in some SEO, you posted to Facebook and it all ticked along. You could play it safe and act like a robot and the leads would come in.

It isn’t like that anymore.

You, the b…

Read more

Read more